What keeps me going...

 Anchor.. something that keeps/holds you in place. Meet Johnathan, Kennedy & Jack, 3 of my anchors.

 They are the reason I first walked into Weight Watchers. I wanted to make sure I did what I could to be around for them as long as I can. I know life doesn't always play fair and we don't get to choose how long our lives will be, but I knew that there were things I could take control of to keep my life from being shortened. As we enter this holiday season of craziness, think about your anchors. Why are you doing this? It's so important to remind yourself why. I am so thankful I made the choice to change my life. I have forever impacted these three little lives. So when the season gets crazy and your time is given to everyone else, remember the best thing you can do for those you love is to take care of yourself. THEY are more important than food. THEY are more important than lack of self control. THEY are more important than giving in. I have friends that keep reminders on them as their anchors; a wedding ring that once was too tight and now slides around their finger, a picture of their heavier selves.. whatever it is, keep that with you as a reminder of what's more important. Here is a picture of my 3 kids in my old jeans. THEY are so worth the fight to keep going!

Those last four miles..

First, my apologies for not blogging in a while. I must admit, they changed the format of how to blog and I thought the blogging site was down and if I would've taken the time to read through the new instructions, I would've known it wasn't down at all :-O ! Maybe that will be a blog for some other time!

I recently set a pretty big goal for myself to run 125 miles in one month. I had set this gaol before and unfortunately didn't make it. But this time I did! I ran most days and enjoyed most runs. I even took one Saturday and ran my farthest run to date, 13.2 miles! My final day of the month I had just 4 miles left to run to reach my goal. I am not kidding, I felt as if those last four miles were going to last FOREVER. My 13.2 miles seemed to be so much easier than those last four. I checked my running app every min to see how much farther I had to go, it just seemed to go on and on. I would've never given up because I was so close to finishing, but I cannot imagine having to fight every 125 miles like the last four. I started thinking about how this relates to our goals. Most of the time our journey begins with this natural high. We are so excited about the new changes, about the early results, and that keeps us going. I say ride that out! Hold on to those natural highs. Of course we lose that excitement once the new feeling wears off, we tend to keep going because we can look back and see how far we've come. Sometimes we can even see a glimpse of the finish line, and that keeps us going. But for me, I think those last four miles, that last leg of the  race, those last few pounds, those things can be the most challenging. We know we're almost there and we are tired! We are so ready to be done! Have you ever heard a senior in high school say they feel like dropping out? It's because at some point you are just done. You have put in all this hard work and time and you are just ready for the prize. Can I encourage you to hang in there? Those last four miles are just as important as the first 121 miles. When you feel like you've given all you have and you just don't have anymore to give, give just a little more. I remember on that 13.2 mile run, at the 10 mile mark I was so tired! I didn't want to keep running but I thought, well I am farther now than if I quit and start again another day. Think about how far you've come. I am in a maintenance time in my journey and these last few months have been so difficult for me. I have gone through some personal things in my life that have been difficult for me and because of that, it hasn't been the easiest to stay on track. I do believe for me, maintaining is definitely a whole other level of challenges compared to losing. You have to remember the fight that got you there and you have to dig deep to keep fighting to stay there. I feel like sometimes we'll spend some time in that "last four miles" mentality, that's when you keep going just because that's what you're supposed to do. I think I'm writing today's blog for myself. No matter what, we keep going and we keep pushing through and even when we reach our goals, we don't quit.

Never give up...

Have you heard the recent story about Diana Nyad? Oh my goodness, this woman is so inspiring!! At 64 years of age, Nyad was on her 5th attempt to swim this challenging 110 mile swim. She did it! She swam for 53 hours only stopping for food/drink but  never got out of the water. Here's a quote from one of her interviews, ‘‘I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, it looks like a solitary sport, but it is a team,’’ she said on the beach." Her first attempt at this was in 1978. Can you imagine holding on to a dream for that long? I read in one interview that her mother had passed away and she was going through her life and the dream of completing the swim resurfaced once again.. 35 years later and it was still there. I believe if you REALLY want something bad enough and you don't give up on yourself along the way, you'll get there. Does it really matter how long it takes? We aren't in a race with anyone else it's just you alone. There's no one at the finish with a prize. The real prize at the end of the race is finishing. So many times I've heard people say that it's going to take too long and after a few weeks they give up. I think we get it in our minds that the people that accomplish their goals don't struggle with wanting to quit, they don't have those times they literally have to force themselves to keep moving forward. That is not true. If you want something you have to fight through. How do I fight through? You just do :) When the feeling of quitting pops up, you just don't quit. When the excitement is gone and you don't know where the motivation went, you just keep going. I think I've said this before but too many times we base what we do on how we feel. We allow our feelings to determine our sticking to something or just giving up. There are mornings I have to force myself to get out of bed and start the day all over. I have had many moments of tying my shoes and walking out the door when my hearts not been in it but I still put one foot in front of the next and force my feet to hit the pavement running. You see, if we based our decisions on if we were in the mood or if we were excited about it.. then yes, at some point you will give up. You will quit. You'll be making the same goals for the rest of your life but never reaching them. It's an all too sad common story...
I think about the swimmer and how she had to will herself to keep going. She kept her eyes focused on her goal. She wanted to finish. That was her goal. Make that your goal. To finish! You'll meet some roadblocks along the way and you'll have some times where your motivation will carry you and then you'll have some times where just your determination will have to drag you. It doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you get there!! I like the quote that says,

“Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

You might as well do something now!

http://www.boston.com/2013/09/02/bgcom-swim/gPMJoRHgxuehPpRaLaLYUN/story.html?rss_id=Most+Popular

There's always a starting line..

When I stand at a starting line there are a lot of emotions attached to that minute before they say "GO!" I feel excited and strong yet anxious and a little afraid I won't finish and I almost always feel like I have to go potty the second before the race starts. It ALWAYS feels good to finish! But the distance between the starting line and finish line can be so long. There's this space between that you have to tell yourself to keep going.. sometimes it's an easy run and sometimes it's challenging. My journey has been like that. I have to remind myself that I'm not racing against anyone else and it's just myself and when I get to the end I'll get there. A few months ago I accomplished a goal to run 100 miles in a month. I felt so proud! The following month I set another goal to run 125 miles in that month and unfortunately I didn't accomplish this goal. When I hit the middle of the month and accepted the fact (or maybe I just gave up) that I wouldn't reach my goal, I stopped running. I am not good at failing. I can beat myself up for a long time. Honestly since then I have ran, but not like I was used too. I made excuses why I "JUST COULDN'T" but they were just excuses. I really believe I hit a patch of feeling disappointed in myself and although I didn't give up entirely, I did allow myself to be stagnant for a while. Why do we do this to ourselves? We beat ourselves up if and when we fail or go backwards. It's as if there's only one starting line. I am finding the truth to be the opposite... there are many starting lines. Each morning can be a fresh start. You can set a goal to stay on track for a whole week and the next Monday you can start a new week... a new starting line. I don't know.. I was thinking maybe if we take the pressure off of ourselves to be perfect for a whole week or a whole month, taking it one day at a time can be more attainable. My pre journey days, I would say, "I'm going to start on Monday" or "I'm going to start Jan 1st" why not start now? Why not let this morning be a starting line and when you go to bed tonight, let that be a finish line and start again tomorrow morning? I have found breaking down my goals into smaller goals helps so much. My manager for Weight Watchers has maintained her weight for over 10 years. She recently told me she still sets weekly goals. There is always a fresh starting line. I decided to stop beating myself up and am going to attack that 125 miles in September. What can you set as a goal for today? For this week? For the month? This is YOUR journey! You get to choose the rules and goals. You get to say where the starting lines and finish lines are. Just because we "mess up" doesn't mean we are failures.. it shows that we are working towards something. I am proud of you for working towards goals. That is the only way you'll move from here to there. Start now and start tomorrow and start again tomorrow afternoon... just keep starting.

The ripple effect

It's really cool that it takes just a small pebble to disrupt a body of water! I do a lot of thinking when I'm running (yes, it's fair to say that since I didn't run much this summer that very little thinking went on ;) ) And the concept of the ripple effect came to mind. It's as simple as this.. there was no way that after my 4 mile, sweaty back, tired legs, heavy breathing self was going to come home and waste my run on a cookie. I am well aware of how many calories I have to burn in order to eat treats. I found this heart breaking chart recently that told me it takes an hour long aerobics to burn off a slice of apple pie, a 2 hr bike ride to burn off 2 slices of meat lovers pizza and a brisk 25 min walk to burn off a muffin. How sad. I know when I do a workout the last thing I want to do waste it on something that will take me 2 minutes to eat. So the ripple effect, when you make a small change it can impact other choices you make during your day. I know for me, just deciding what I'm going to eat for breakfast has a big impact on my day. I love english muffins with peanut butter and jelly on it. It's like dessert for breakfast! I can eat this if I want but it does trigger a sweet tooth throughout my day. If I choose something not as sweet, my day seems to go better. What is a small change you can make that can cause a ripple through your day? Maybe write down what you eat? Go on a walk? Eat a healthier breakfast? It really does work! Of course I always think beyond getting healthy.. any area that you want to see change in your life, start with a small change, a pebble size change. Sometimes we think that we have to change everything all at once, but we don't. Just a small change can set you in motion to make other changes. If you would just set things in motion they will have an effect in other areas of your life. Don't be afraid to drop the pebble. Don't worry about failing. Just think about today and the small change you can make, today! Cheering you on!! Looking forward to hearing about the ripple effects in your life :)

Facing your... cows?

You have no idea how much I love this picture. I met this cow statue on a recent trip to Michigan with my mom and sisters. We walked into a meat shop and I saw this cow standing there in this pose that demanded attention. He definitely got mine! I really wasn't sure how to title this post. You see, I wanted to say "Facing your demons" but it sounds so intense.. RAWR! But that's really what it is. You know those things that seem to call your name when you're doing well. Those things that stop you from staying on track and staying focused. That thing that lures you in the middle of the night that causes you to sneak into the refrigerator when no ones looking. That thing that makes you feel like you can't actually complete what you set out to do. I was thinking about some of my.. cows.. ;) and how facing them was and is the only way to defeat them. I have always wished I was one of "those girls" that when I got sad I could just starve myself. Like I was sooo sad that food just turned my stomach. Not me. I was the total opposite. Food seemed to be my resolve for everything! Sad times happy times bored times.. just anytime! I can remember driving through different drive throughs all alone and buying my favorite foods from the different places and eating the food while I just drove. It's so gross to think about that now. It's actually quite embarassing. I would allow food to comfort me when I felt alone. It would bring that temporary fix but not too long afterwards I would feel terrible about myself and turn right back around and feed that terrible feeling with food. It was an awful cycle! This is why a lifestyle change was the only way I was going to lose weight and keep it off. I needed to make some inside changes in my life. Most of the changes I made were inside changes. Habits had to be broken. Issues had to be dealt with. New habits had to be formed. I had to face the cows that I had allowed to win in my life. My mindset had to change on how I saw myself. Your mind has to be stronger than your body! Your mind has to be stronger than your habits! So what do you do? I think most of us know our habits. We know why we turn to food. There are practical changes you can make like keeping healthy options in your house, going on a walk when you feel that need to eat when you're not hungry kick in, calling a friend.. something to avoid the desire to eat. There might also be issues that you just need to resolve and let go of. Negative relationships in your life, maybe unforgiveness and pain you're holding on to.. whatever it might be. You want a better healthier you, so what do you need to do to get there? Face those "cows" and don't give up until you win! I think sometimes we see the changes on the scale and, yes, those are wonderful feelings!! But to keep the weight off, the habits have to change. My advice, change the habits, face the demons, let go.. whatever you need to do, do it while you're losing weight. Weight doesn't just come in the form of that mushy stuff that covers your body.. it's also that heavy stuff we carry inside of our hearts and minds. Don't quit!! Always cheering you on!!! xoxo

Reflecting..

A few months ago I was doing a photo shoot in Crown Point and I walked past one of the store front windows and caught a glimpse of my reflection. I can remember the countless times in the past seeing my reflection and turning my head because I didn't really like what was looking back at me. That doesn't mean I didn't like who I was it just means I didn't like what I looked like on the outside. Over the past 3 years my outside has changed. That's just the result of changing my mind and my thoughts and adding action to what I've learned. I'm still learning. I have spent the last year in weight maintenance. I always thought the toughest part was losing the weight but now that I'm maintaining, I believe the toughest is in maintaining the weight. You are no longer seeing results on the scale, you are no longer dropping clothing sizes..the excitment of losing the weight is past you and now you have to wrap your mind around not having those rewards anymore. You find your rewards in setting new goals and, in my opinion, seeing how much more you can grow in your will and perserverance. Over the past year I've discovered the will to stay and the perserverance to see it through has to remain just as strong. How you learn to lose your weight is how you will maintain it. I sometimes think that I will always battle the emotional eating issues and the way I push my needs, as far as taking care of myself, to the back burner to make sure everyone else is taken care of first. Battle them, not necessarily give in to them. For those of us that have struggled with weight issues most of our lives and know and understand the internal battle that goes on can understand what I'm about to talk about. We're told losing weight is easy, you should burn more calories than you take in.. they make it sound so easy. But see, if you haven't struggled with weight issues, if you haven't tried to lose weight a 100+ times, haven't read every book about weight loss and if given the choice between a million dollars or to be healthy and thin.. you'd choose thin every time.. if you haven't had these thoughts in your mind, you don't really understand that it is much more than just burning more calories than you consume. It is a battle of the mind. At times it can be so emotionally and mentally exhausting because you're so used to just feeding the issues with food that you have to fight against giving in and giving up. I have learned over the past year that, yes I've gotten stronger, but those tendencies still remain. Not as strong but they are still there. I'll be honest with you, when the percentage of people that regain their weight back is so high, it is very scary! The statistics are so gloomy. One statistic I read said that about 80% gain their weight plus more within 2 years of losing it. How depressing is that?! Now do I think that we should use that as an excuse to gain it back or to not even start losing in the first place? Nah :) My mind thinks about that 20%! You see, it comes down to a mind set change. The biggest battle is won in the mind! You see, the smaller clothes and the good reports we get from the doctor are all just a result of a change of mind. I have said this before, if you push through those barriers in your mind, those thoughts that say you can't do this, you will make it! You will get stronger!!! I am not going to tell you that you will never struggle, but you are teaching yourself how to persevere! Let your will win! I want to cry just writing this blog. This is something I feel so deep about. I know the struggle.. I know the desire to be healthy. I know the desire to feel good about the way you look on the outside. I know. I KNOW. I wish I could make it easy for you but I can't. It isn't an easy road but it sure is one worth traveling. I just want to yell.. "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!! Fight hard for yourself!!! Don't give in to the mind when it says to quit!!" So to you, if you are on this journey.. FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are tired of just living this way.. FIIIIIIIGHT HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more quitting and giving in!

Fight hard!
Mel :)

A different kind of goal...

Do you ever think about the memory you'd like to leave behind after you're gone? What do you want people to say about you once you pass away? This might not be a subject you'd like to think about right now but it is something that I've been thinking about especially today. This morning I sat in a church with my dear friend and her family and friends as we said goodbye to her dad. He passed away suddently and unexpectedly. I know it's not easy whether you expect it or not. Losing someone is hard and sad and you don't even know how your heart will ever heal. You just never know when your life will end and at that point the words that will be said about you are no longer up to you. I want to share with you some words that were spoken today about Charley. They touched me and will stay with me throughout my lifetime. The priest was talking about the video of pictures he watched that was put together that represented Charley's life. The priest mentioned something that just hit me. He said as he was watching the video he noticed that in just about every picture of Charley, Ginny (his wife of 46 years) was standing next to him. Because where ever Charley was, Ginny was. He also mentioned that in just about every picture of the family (Ginny and their two daughters) Charley was present in the picture. Because he was always there. I thought how amazing, here is this man that worked and had a social life and he volunteered for different organizations and he loved people.. but the one thing that seems to stand above the rest is his love for his family. He was present. I don't know but it seems to me Charley had a goal in life to love his family. To be present and not just exist amongst them. He seemed to take his time and live in the moment with them. To not rush through life. Sometimes life can seem like it's just a bunch of events one after another. We get through one event already focused on what's next. We hold our breathe just waiting to get done with the thing we're dealing with now. If you're anything like me, you've been guilty of letting too much time slip by just because "you're too busy." You find that you are present physically but your mind is somewhere else. Really, the most important time in your life is right now. I love that Charley and Ginny were in the pictures together. I love that Lauren and Natalie had their dad in the pictures with them. I love that he was present! Charley's life reminded me of this today .. I want to be here, right now and no where else because there is no other place or time more important. This is my lesson from Charley. :)

Breaking through the wall of "EXCUSE"

Man.. have I been enjoying the lazy days of summer! My wedding photography job keeps my weekends pretty busy, but the weekdays are dedicated to my three little munchkins. Well, my kids and also another little job I do for WW and photo shoots I do on the side, oh and also keeping my house cleaned, running errands, paying bills and making sure I put time into my marriage, I can't forget about my friends and this and that.... ahhhh.. LIFE! I am going to just say it right now, I have allowed so many excuses to creep in which has put a bit of a damper on preparing like I should. It's put a damper on my running and working out schedule. I have allowed excuses to be a reason and that is just so lame. In all reality, we are busy people. When my kids were in school, I could run more often and didn't really have to "make time" it was just made for me. I could plan meals and grocery shop at my convenience. Please say I'm not the only one that allows excuses to make decisions for me!! Well, last week I get a text from a friend of mine telling me that there's a VBS at a little church near my house and it's during the day. My kids love going to VBS and since I'm familiar with this church I figured I would send them. I also figured it would be a great week for me to get some time for myself and I could run! So I woke up this morning to the rain and I thought.. man.. if it wasn't raining I could run. Stupid rain. I caught myself.. what am I doing?! I am making another excuse. Here I have some kidless time and I'm yet again making another excuse. Rain never stopped me before. So I put all my running gear on and just ran. It felt so great! I will tell you this, the thing that felt the greatest was the fact that I just did it. I didn't allow an excuse to keep me from running today. It's so easy to fall into that pattern. I have learned to be a goal setter and accomplish them. But even with all that I've learned, I can still fall into a pattern of excuses. What about the times we fall off the wagon and binge for a while on ice cream or potato chips, some of us in those cases will tell ourselves, "Oh well.. I've already messed up, might as well finish off the week and start all over on Monday." We can make up excuses for any behavior we have. How many times have you started something and quit.. just because? At the time it sounded like a good reason why you couldn't follow through. I think most of the time it comes down to the fact that we just lose the excitement to do it. We lose the motivation to see it all the way through. We talk ourselves out of doing something before we even give it a chance. I don't know why we do this. I know I just feel tired sometimes. Feeling tired is ok, it's just when I allow it to become a habitual excuse. How do I keep going? Well sometimes it's easy to keep going, I feel motivated and encouraged and it feels like it's second nature. But sometimes it's hard. In those hard times I try and remind myself what I want. I remind myself how far I've come and that I never want to go back to my old habits. Are you having a problem with breaking through the pattern of excuses? Ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Sometimes I just have to force myself to do something even if I don't feel like it. We don't alway feel like skipping on the cake or going for a walk. Sometimes it's just easier to give in to the excuses. Time will pass and you have to ask yourself what do I want out of life. What do I want to accomplish with my time. No more letting excuses be a reason for you not reaching your goals. In a year from today you'll either be at your goal and setting a new one, closer to your goal or still making excuses as to why you'll start tomorrow. Don't wait. Start now. You might not want too... but that doesn't mean you can't.
Always cheering you on!!! Mel :)

The anniversary dance..

My brain works in a strange way... I can take just about any story or situation and learn from it. I almost always look deeper into things to see what I can take from it and carry with me throughout my life. Living my life absorbing everything around me, the people and sights and sounds and smells,  has just been the way I've always been. So sometimes I might find something in a story that someone else might not. That's where this blog came from...

My wedding photographer job is so fun! I get to meet a lot of different people and see a lot of different things. I've stood around the dance floor capturing more moments of people dancing than I can even count. I've watched many brides and grooms dance their first dance and watched many dad's dance with their daughter on her wedding day, it's all very beautiful. This past weekend the DJ did the Anniversary Dance. I'm sure many of you have seen this. They call out all the married couples to the dance floor and as the song plays, the DJ starts calling out the amount of years being married and as the song plays, couples leave the dance floor, to only leave the couple married the longest dancing on the dance floor alone. I've seen this at many weddings but this one hit me a little different. As the DJ was counting up the years, the couple just kept dancing, little by little the dance floor became almost empty until it was just them. The couple has been married for 63 years. I cried. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've seen at a wedding. How sweet and beautiful as they held onto each other and moved together across the dance floor. I started thinking about their journey and the things they might've faced throughout those 63 years. How many times they've failed each other, disapointed each other. How many financial challenges they might've been through. Have they had to face losing a child? I don't know their story, but I am sure they have one to tell. I started to think about the challenges we face. In my opinion, most of our challenges are little compared to being committed to a marriage for 63 years. But yet, how easily we give up. A little challenge comes our way and we so easily just throw in the towel. We've lost the ability to fight through things. Or better yet, we just don't care as much as we think we do. I find that most people I talk to say that they CAN'T do something but in reality they can. They just don't feel like it. They don't feel like sticking with something through those times it's not as easy. Where is your fight? When you want something bad enough.. what stops you from getting to it? Why do you quit on yourself yet you'd never quit on someone you love?  We look at people, that in our opinion are successful, for me like this couple that danced alone that night on the dance floor. And we don't always see the challenges they might have faced we only see the success they have. The truth is, we all face challenges that could give us a perfectly good reason to quit. But quiting should not be an option. Johnathan asked us the other day what divorce meant. We told him it's when one or both grown ups quit in their marriage. He said, "Oh! Well that won't happen to us because Latiak's never quit!" I want to encourage you.. don't quit! Don't quit at the things you have set your mind on. Once you decide that quiting is not an option for you.. you'll keep going until you reach your finish line.

1, 2, 3... JUMP!

Have you ever tried jumping on a park bench with both feet at the same time? Last fall, Robbie and I and the kids were playing at a park near our house. That summer I had done several weeks of a boot camp and felt pretty tough. So here I am, Rob has his little video recorder set on his phone and I am going to prove to him that I can jump up on this bench, I can do this! The whole video is of me attempting but being a chicken and not going through with it. Well, yesterday the kids and I went back to the same park and I passed my phone to Jack and pressed record, I counted 1,2 and 3 and jumped right up on that same bench I chickened out on last fall. I didn't even have to think twice. Of course, I jumped it several times because I felt so hard core and I sent the video to Rob just to brag ;) . To some this might not be much of anything.. but to me, it was just a nice reminder of how far I've come. I don't believe that it has much to do with my physical strength but more to do with my mental strength. Isn't that how life is though? The more we press through the stronger we get. When we can't do it at first, it doesn't mean we've failed. It's when we quit, that's when we've failed. Life is all about over coming challenges that come our way. Whether is has to do with our jobs or our relationships.. whether it's challenges that you face while you're trying to lose weight or finish school. Unfortunately there really is no easy way  to reach your goals or accomplish your dreams. It takes hard work, commitment and perserverance. Those quick easy fixes that some might find, will only last a short time. It's what we learn in the process of getting us to our goal, that sticks. That's what helps us maintain our goals and helps us over come the next challenge that we'll face. I am a big believer in what we set our mind too, we'll get. Start small.. what's something you can challenge yourself to do from now until the end of the month? Write it down, keep a calendar of the days you're working on it. See your accomplishments as you reach them. My friend and boot camp instructor, Debbie, tells me this, "It doesn't get easier, it's that you get better and stronger!" That's so true.. you get better. When you refuse to quit and you keep going.. the better and stronger you get. That park bench didn't get lower I just got better. 1, 2, 3... JUMP! NOW!

Free as a bird...

Free as a bird! That's how this picture makes me feel. There's no greater feeling than the feeling of being free. That's how you feel when you plow down the mountains in your life. I'm sure some people think my greatest reward is the fact that my pant size is smaller or the scale reads less.. my greatest reward is the crazy strength I feel on the inside. Have you ever accomplished something in your life that you always wanted and worked so hard to get it? Then you know that feeling I'm talking about. I have always tried to live life to the fullest. I take in the sights, smells and sounds. But when you delete the obstacles from your life, things seem to get even brighter. You gain this confidence and strength that causes you to believe that you can do anything you set your mind too. Isn't that what we need? To not feel hindered by things. Sometimes we allow things to become a part of our lives and take root within us. I believe it's different for each person, but the reason why is probably the same. I think we just sorta accept things as they are, mediocre relationships, bad habits, lives that have no passion.. why do we allow this? I did this. I remember believing that the weight, well "it's just who I am" and it really wasn't about me being over weight. It was about me accepting something I had the power to change but didn't have the drive to do it. Ugh! I was so tired of it. I was so tired of allowing myself to "just be this way" I am not saying every over weight person feels the way I did.. but I also know I am not the only one. Why do we allow time to just drift by and not make the changes we need to live life to the fullest. Why do we allow our dreams to be pushed to the side? Why do we set goals and just allow ourselves to give up on them? It's hard work and perserverance. It takes changing mindsets. It takes being a tiny bit selfish and giving more to yourself. What do you really want out of life? You see, I want to live. I want to help people change their lives. I want my children to know that they don't have just accept a mediocre life.. that they don't have to allow things to take root in their lives that don't belong there. It doesn't even have to be a physical thing.. it can be doubt or fear. It can be insecurity or negativity. So at what point do you uproot the things that don't belong in your life? If you're going to wait for the perfect time... you'll never start. My hope is that you will just start now. And that you won't stop until you reach your dreams. Never quit :) You're well worth the fight!

Fear takes up way too much space!

Is it just me or does anyone else out there struggle with fear? I know for some, it can be so intense, while others it might just be fear over certain things. I remember when I first started Weight Watchers I didn't want to tell anyone that I had joined. I was certain I would fail and the fear of letting others down was too much for me. I kept it to myself as long as I could and after I saw the changes and the consistency, I had to start telling people. I've always struggled with the fear of letting others down. It's gotten a little easier but I know it's still there. Fear can be so crippling sometimes. It really can keep us from moving forward. It can keep us from being successful and it can keep us stuck in the same place. I really believe it just "keeps" us. There is no freedom in that. Since I've been maintaining, I have definitely struggled with fear of gaining back my weight. So much to the point that I can get afraid to step on the scale because "what if?!!" It's so annoying. I recently talked to a co worker of mine and she said, "There is no room for fear." I think if I had given in to the fear of failure, I wouldn't had joined Weight Watchers. I wouldn't have set certain goals. I really wouldn't have come nearly as far as I have. At some point you have to throw off the fears and just go for it. What are you afraid of? Are you like me and afraid to fail? Are you afraid that you don't have it in you to actually accomplish something? Are you afraid to let others down? You see, fear is just a space invader. It takes over our minds and when we give in to it, we end up losing. The fact is fear has as much strength and space in your life as you give it. I am really tired of allowing fear to have even an inch of my mind. I feel like this blog is definitely me giving myself a pep talk, but I am hoping that if anyone else deals with this, that it helps you too! I'd love to see you free fall into the areas of your life that you've allowed fear to sorta take over. Don't allow it to keep you from things you have your heart set on. Don't allow it to keep you from your goals. Don't allow it to keep you from starting a new journey in your life. If you think about it.. it's JUST fear.

Lucky girl...

How awesome would it be if all it took was finding a four leaf clover and then you'd have luck on your side?! My mother in law can walk into the middle of a field of flowers and weeds and I swear, she can look down at the ground and find a four leaf clover.. over and over. It does seem a little magical to me. March has me thinking about St. Patricks Day and feeling lucky and clovers and how there is magic in all of that. I'm not sure if you've ever thought like me, but if I could've had one wish, I always said I would wish to be thin. I hated hated HATED struggling with being over weight. It was a life long battle of wanting to lose weight, wanting to be healthy, wanting to feel like I could do anything I wanted too... I always wished for those thing. There have been times I've heard people say, "Wow!! You're so lucky this worked out for you!!!" or "Hey!!! Tell me the secret!! What's the magic secret when it comes to losing weight?" Unfortunately it's not as easy as finding a four leaf clover in the middle of a field or finding a genie in a bottle to grant you that one wish.. there is not a secret or no luck to it at all, it's simply hard work! It takes perseverance;

steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. That means not quitting when it gets tough. Not giving up when your emotions just aren't in it anymore. It's a mind battle more than anything. It takes determination;

the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose. Taking that step and finally deciding THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING! I have discovered that if you want something bad enough, you'll make the decision with your mind and heart and you'll just go after it.. and not stop until you get it! Focus; a point of concentration, directed attention. Keeping in mind your goals. Remembering why you started this journey in the first place. I have found that setting goals and not quitting until I hit that goal has become a habit of mine. I keep my eyes focused on something, whether it's a finish line or a challenge I set for myself and I refuse to quit until I hit that mark. A few other things that I find are invaluable to this journey.. being able to forgive yourself easily. We tend to be harder on ourselves and get down on ourselves when we mess up. I understand that, I still deal with this in other areas of my life. But when it comes to losing weight, you cannot allow yesterdays mess ups keep you down today! You have to forgive yourself and move on. Plan!! Plan ahead as best as you can. If you can plan and prepare, you will be setting yourself up for a win! Keep good food in your refrigerator and pantry and keep the bad foods out. Write down what you eat!! Sometimes we think if we don't write it down than maybe that means I didn't eat it. Wrong. We just lie to ourselves. Find an activity or workout that you enjoy and do it! If you can do it everyday, do it everyday. Stay consistent with it!! Don't eliminate foods from your diet. I have always allowed myself to eat whatever I want. I've just learned to portion it out and to weigh or measure it. I do eliminate certain foods from coming into my home, but that's because I know I'll eat all of it!! Know your own limits. Be real with yourself. I have wonderful people that have been with me throughout this journey, but it solely comes down to it is my responsibility. I can have all the help around me, but only I know if I'm sneaking into the kitchen looking for a snack in the middle of the night! So be real and honest with yourself! I have found that if we want something bad enough, we will do whatever it takes to get it! Know this.. YOU are worth it!! You can do this!!! How bad do you really want it?!!! Bad enough to keep going until you reach your goals? :)

It's an emotional affair....

Do you ever feel this way? That you are having an emotional affair with food? You turn to it when you're down or when things aren't going your way? When the lights go out for everyone else, you find yourself in the kitchen looking for something to make you feel better? It happens to the best of us. I think for me, it's a habit I have carried with me from my childhood through my adulthood years. I believe this is a habit learned but can also be a habit broken. I have definitely broken this habit in my life, but truth be told, it creeps back in every once in a while. I relate it to someone that might turn to alcohol or bad relationships, it's something you do to make you feel better in the moment. And after you do it, you feel terrible. I have found that this can set me off and take me on a downward spiral of poor eating, not exercising.. it just triggers something inside you to eat more. There is definitely a fix to this problem. I can't tell you how to never feel sad or down, I wish I could, but I can tell you that there is a way to set youself up to not turn to food... well at least not all the time. I know life can be ridiculous and overwhelming and just plain old stupid sometimes, so for me to say emotionally eating will NEVER happen.. is hard for me to even promise myself. I have no idea what life might throw at me next year, next month or even tomorrow. But I can do my best to set myself up for a win. First thing, make sure you have some good people that you can count on. I know for me, I have some wonderful people I can go to when I need to talk. I have people I can say, "Hey.. I need to cry, got a minute?" Or if I need to tell someone that I've been sneaking food at night and I need help stopping this, I have people that will help me. They come in the form as friends, family and accountability partners. Food can never be there for you like a person can. Another thing, keep the junk out of your house. If you keep it out of your house it will never be an option. Believe me, I know, you have small kids and it's not fair to them to not have candy, chips... blah blah blah... do we really want our kids eating this junk too? I'm not saying NEVER eat this, but make it a treat. Only buy them in small portions or go out for ice cream or dessert. I know it slowly happens around here, before I know it, my pantry will be filled with junk. You should take the time to spring clean your pantry and refrigerator often. If we clean up our spaces, whether it be at home or work, then this journey is going to be a lot easier because we've eliminated the bad options. So say late one night you find that Halloween candy that you tucked away and forgot about over the months and before you know it you've eaten the entire bag, what do you do next? Some of us would probably feel terrible and figure since we've already messed up, we might as well finish off what we started... until Monday. Do not do this. I have learned that we have the ability to stop and pick ourselves up right then and there. Move on! I cannot tell you how many cookies, cakes, bags of chips, gallons of ice cream.. whatever.. I've thrown in the trash. This blog is not about eating those treats on purpose, this one is about eating those in a moment when you're turning to food for support. I eat junk and have treats, on purpose and there's nothing wrong with that. The issue of eating for support, that's dangerous. I know this is something we can control. We sometimes allow the belief of "We can't control ourselves" to come in, but that's not true. We can. You can! Do not allow food to be in control or allow your mind to believe that you're not strong enough. You are. You just have to believe it!

I'm in control of this...

During one of my Weight Watcher classes, I met this young girl that is a new member. Her first week she joined, she came back and had a weight gain. How frustrating is that?! Her second week, she lost one pound. Equally frustating! This young girl stood at my scale and cried. She had faced a lot over the week (loss of job and other stresses) so no wonder she was having "scale crisis" I searched my mind and heart to try and give her the best answer, to find some way to help her through this slump that she was in. In all honesty, all I wanted to do was hug her and give her my phone number and tell her to call me anytime!! I gave her the best advice I thought of. I remembered what my life looked like right before I joined Weight Watchers. The two years leading up to me joining WW were very hard years for me. So much in my life had changed. It was probably some of the hardest two years I had gone through. And on top of that, my health was declining. I was dealing with high blood pressure and borderline diabetic. I was tired all the time and had allowed my insecurities to keep me from doing things. I realized that many of the things in my life I had no control over. I couldn't control my relationships, my job or my responsibilites that I had. I could work at those things.. but never could I control them. When I joined WW, I realized this is something I had control over. I learned that I had control over the food, over my lifestyle, over the sitting on the couch doing nothing, over the late night snacking. I had control over the emotional eating binges. We seem to think we don't. We seem to think those things control us. But in all reality, it doesn't. We allow it too.. we sorta give in to those things. So here's what I told this young lady; your life might not look like you want it too. You don't have control over your job and the other things that might come your way. But you can have total control over getting healthy. And once you realize this, you will feel so strong on the inside! You will feel like you can accomplish anything! Your insecurites won't be able to hold you back because you'll be bigger than them. I wanted to share this with you. I want you to remember that, if you put your mind to this, you can conquer it. I know, many of my blogs are about not quitting and conquering.. and it might get old. But that is something I hold on to. If you never quit, you'll never go backwards. You have total control over your eating! Stop allowing excuses to cause you to quit or to not even start! Stop making excuses as to why you can't get up and move around. The time is right when you finally just take control. I hope my new friend realizes she can do it too!!

Keeping the bigger picture in mind

Hello!! I hope you had a wonderful holiday!! I feel like I've been going crazy since Thanksgiving. Time keeps going even when I ask it to wait up for me, it never listens! I am always curious as to what people got for Christmas, what their favorite gifts were, what their favorite gifts they gave were.. and so on. I absolutely loved all of my gifts! How can you not when someone takes their time and thoughts and money and uses it on you! It's hard to pick a favorite but I do have one that stood out to me above the rest. My sister in law, Lisa, wins the prize this year! This is what she gave me (see picture). It's a very large key ring. I was just as confused as you might be but believe me, there is a very cool purpose to this gift. She knows I am a runner and I have goals to run different charity runs and work my way up to 1/2 marathons and marathons. She brought out her matching key ring and showed me the purpose of this. It's to hang my bibs on it that I get from each run I do. A bib is the number that the runner wears on their shirt. So for each run I do I can poke a hole in the bib and attach it to the key ring. Her's has several. Mine doesn't, for now though! I thought, how future minded and goal minded is this gift!!! It reminds me of the goals we have set for ourselves. I know I talk a lot.. A LOT, about goals. I only do because that is one of the key things that got me to my total weight loss goal. I like to say I small goaled my way here! I think sometimes we lose focus and lose sight of the "main goal" we have the tendancy to give in to what we want right now, this minute, this second.. and we'll say, "Oh, I'll get back to it tomorrow, It's only this one time (when in reality we've said that since Thanksgiving)." You see, if we continue to give in and not make the changes we need to and not get rid of the bad habits or the bad foods or whatever else.. eventually we lose sight of the main goal. There is so much satisfaction in reaching goals. I'm talking beyond a smaller pant size or compliments from your family and friends, because believe me as someone that's now in maintenance, those things will pass. What doesn't pass is the ability that you have learned to set goals and reach them, the ability to press through a challenge that before you would just cave in and the strength you have on the INSIDE. So here's what I would like you to try. Get something physical to keep in your house somewhere. If it's a pant size, buy a pair of jeans in that size. If it's to do something like what mine is, and run races and marathons, buy yourself a key ring! If it's to fit into your wedding ring, be able to lift a certain amount of weight.. whatever it may be, get something for you to be able to see and have so you can look at it as a reminder. I am all for setting those small goals, those are equally important! But don't lose focus of those main goals either! I have high expectations for this next year. And lets be honest, there is no magic in a new year, it's all about how much work you're willing to put in. How hard are you willing to fight? I am not saying this because it has come easy for me, this has been the biggest challenge of my life. I am saying it is absolutely and totally possible!!!