Reflecting..

A few months ago I was doing a photo shoot in Crown Point and I walked past one of the store front windows and caught a glimpse of my reflection. I can remember the countless times in the past seeing my reflection and turning my head because I didn't really like what was looking back at me. That doesn't mean I didn't like who I was it just means I didn't like what I looked like on the outside. Over the past 3 years my outside has changed. That's just the result of changing my mind and my thoughts and adding action to what I've learned. I'm still learning. I have spent the last year in weight maintenance. I always thought the toughest part was losing the weight but now that I'm maintaining, I believe the toughest is in maintaining the weight. You are no longer seeing results on the scale, you are no longer dropping clothing sizes..the excitment of losing the weight is past you and now you have to wrap your mind around not having those rewards anymore. You find your rewards in setting new goals and, in my opinion, seeing how much more you can grow in your will and perserverance. Over the past year I've discovered the will to stay and the perserverance to see it through has to remain just as strong. How you learn to lose your weight is how you will maintain it. I sometimes think that I will always battle the emotional eating issues and the way I push my needs, as far as taking care of myself, to the back burner to make sure everyone else is taken care of first. Battle them, not necessarily give in to them. For those of us that have struggled with weight issues most of our lives and know and understand the internal battle that goes on can understand what I'm about to talk about. We're told losing weight is easy, you should burn more calories than you take in.. they make it sound so easy. But see, if you haven't struggled with weight issues, if you haven't tried to lose weight a 100+ times, haven't read every book about weight loss and if given the choice between a million dollars or to be healthy and thin.. you'd choose thin every time.. if you haven't had these thoughts in your mind, you don't really understand that it is much more than just burning more calories than you consume. It is a battle of the mind. At times it can be so emotionally and mentally exhausting because you're so used to just feeding the issues with food that you have to fight against giving in and giving up. I have learned over the past year that, yes I've gotten stronger, but those tendencies still remain. Not as strong but they are still there. I'll be honest with you, when the percentage of people that regain their weight back is so high, it is very scary! The statistics are so gloomy. One statistic I read said that about 80% gain their weight plus more within 2 years of losing it. How depressing is that?! Now do I think that we should use that as an excuse to gain it back or to not even start losing in the first place? Nah :) My mind thinks about that 20%! You see, it comes down to a mind set change. The biggest battle is won in the mind! You see, the smaller clothes and the good reports we get from the doctor are all just a result of a change of mind. I have said this before, if you push through those barriers in your mind, those thoughts that say you can't do this, you will make it! You will get stronger!!! I am not going to tell you that you will never struggle, but you are teaching yourself how to persevere! Let your will win! I want to cry just writing this blog. This is something I feel so deep about. I know the struggle.. I know the desire to be healthy. I know the desire to feel good about the way you look on the outside. I know. I KNOW. I wish I could make it easy for you but I can't. It isn't an easy road but it sure is one worth traveling. I just want to yell.. "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!! Fight hard for yourself!!! Don't give in to the mind when it says to quit!!" So to you, if you are on this journey.. FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are tired of just living this way.. FIIIIIIIGHT HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more quitting and giving in!

Fight hard!
Mel :)

A different kind of goal...

Do you ever think about the memory you'd like to leave behind after you're gone? What do you want people to say about you once you pass away? This might not be a subject you'd like to think about right now but it is something that I've been thinking about especially today. This morning I sat in a church with my dear friend and her family and friends as we said goodbye to her dad. He passed away suddently and unexpectedly. I know it's not easy whether you expect it or not. Losing someone is hard and sad and you don't even know how your heart will ever heal. You just never know when your life will end and at that point the words that will be said about you are no longer up to you. I want to share with you some words that were spoken today about Charley. They touched me and will stay with me throughout my lifetime. The priest was talking about the video of pictures he watched that was put together that represented Charley's life. The priest mentioned something that just hit me. He said as he was watching the video he noticed that in just about every picture of Charley, Ginny (his wife of 46 years) was standing next to him. Because where ever Charley was, Ginny was. He also mentioned that in just about every picture of the family (Ginny and their two daughters) Charley was present in the picture. Because he was always there. I thought how amazing, here is this man that worked and had a social life and he volunteered for different organizations and he loved people.. but the one thing that seems to stand above the rest is his love for his family. He was present. I don't know but it seems to me Charley had a goal in life to love his family. To be present and not just exist amongst them. He seemed to take his time and live in the moment with them. To not rush through life. Sometimes life can seem like it's just a bunch of events one after another. We get through one event already focused on what's next. We hold our breathe just waiting to get done with the thing we're dealing with now. If you're anything like me, you've been guilty of letting too much time slip by just because "you're too busy." You find that you are present physically but your mind is somewhere else. Really, the most important time in your life is right now. I love that Charley and Ginny were in the pictures together. I love that Lauren and Natalie had their dad in the pictures with them. I love that he was present! Charley's life reminded me of this today .. I want to be here, right now and no where else because there is no other place or time more important. This is my lesson from Charley. :)

Breaking through the wall of "EXCUSE"

Man.. have I been enjoying the lazy days of summer! My wedding photography job keeps my weekends pretty busy, but the weekdays are dedicated to my three little munchkins. Well, my kids and also another little job I do for WW and photo shoots I do on the side, oh and also keeping my house cleaned, running errands, paying bills and making sure I put time into my marriage, I can't forget about my friends and this and that.... ahhhh.. LIFE! I am going to just say it right now, I have allowed so many excuses to creep in which has put a bit of a damper on preparing like I should. It's put a damper on my running and working out schedule. I have allowed excuses to be a reason and that is just so lame. In all reality, we are busy people. When my kids were in school, I could run more often and didn't really have to "make time" it was just made for me. I could plan meals and grocery shop at my convenience. Please say I'm not the only one that allows excuses to make decisions for me!! Well, last week I get a text from a friend of mine telling me that there's a VBS at a little church near my house and it's during the day. My kids love going to VBS and since I'm familiar with this church I figured I would send them. I also figured it would be a great week for me to get some time for myself and I could run! So I woke up this morning to the rain and I thought.. man.. if it wasn't raining I could run. Stupid rain. I caught myself.. what am I doing?! I am making another excuse. Here I have some kidless time and I'm yet again making another excuse. Rain never stopped me before. So I put all my running gear on and just ran. It felt so great! I will tell you this, the thing that felt the greatest was the fact that I just did it. I didn't allow an excuse to keep me from running today. It's so easy to fall into that pattern. I have learned to be a goal setter and accomplish them. But even with all that I've learned, I can still fall into a pattern of excuses. What about the times we fall off the wagon and binge for a while on ice cream or potato chips, some of us in those cases will tell ourselves, "Oh well.. I've already messed up, might as well finish off the week and start all over on Monday." We can make up excuses for any behavior we have. How many times have you started something and quit.. just because? At the time it sounded like a good reason why you couldn't follow through. I think most of the time it comes down to the fact that we just lose the excitement to do it. We lose the motivation to see it all the way through. We talk ourselves out of doing something before we even give it a chance. I don't know why we do this. I know I just feel tired sometimes. Feeling tired is ok, it's just when I allow it to become a habitual excuse. How do I keep going? Well sometimes it's easy to keep going, I feel motivated and encouraged and it feels like it's second nature. But sometimes it's hard. In those hard times I try and remind myself what I want. I remind myself how far I've come and that I never want to go back to my old habits. Are you having a problem with breaking through the pattern of excuses? Ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Sometimes I just have to force myself to do something even if I don't feel like it. We don't alway feel like skipping on the cake or going for a walk. Sometimes it's just easier to give in to the excuses. Time will pass and you have to ask yourself what do I want out of life. What do I want to accomplish with my time. No more letting excuses be a reason for you not reaching your goals. In a year from today you'll either be at your goal and setting a new one, closer to your goal or still making excuses as to why you'll start tomorrow. Don't wait. Start now. You might not want too... but that doesn't mean you can't.
Always cheering you on!!! Mel :)