This last year my husband and I had to make a really tough decision concerning our oldest, Johnathan. He struggled so much in first grade last year, his reading/comprehension scores were far below average and he seemed to be struggling more and more the farther he got into the school year. We made the tough decision to have him repeat the first grade again. He and his sister are now in the same grade and I'm sure that was not easy for him to accept. I think about the defeat he might feel and possibly the feelings he might have about how "smart" he is. The other day I said to him, "Jache, you're such a smart boy!" He said, "I know I am, mom!!" I asked him how does he know he's so smart.. he said, "Because that's what you and dad tell me." It amazes me how much power our words can have. Think about it, when you see a little girl, twirling around in her dress and you say, "You are so cute!!" She will more than likely respond with, "I know!!" or she'll even throw out the fact that she's so cute without anyone even saying anything. Our kids believe they are smart, cute, wonderful.. etc. because we tell them so! Now think about yourself, what kind of words are you saying to yourself on a daily basis. Think about what you say when you look in the mirror. What do you say when you fall off the wagon? What do you say to yourself when your pants might feel tighter than they should? What about when you step on the scale and there's not change? Sometimes we can really beat ourselves up with our words and negative thoughts. Can you imagine someone coming to you and saying they put on a few pounds, or feel tired of losing weight.. or whatever.. can you imagine saying to them the things you might say to yourself? I'm guessing they'd never come back to share anything with you, ever again. We can be so hard on ourselves. I think about how we blame this or that for our daughters self image issues.. when in reality the very cause of some of it is what they hear their mothers saying about themselves. When we tear ourselves down.. we are teaching our kids how to do the same. I don't believe negative talk or thinking has ever moved anyone closer to their goals. It's time for a change. It's time to see how much you're worth and how strong you are and can be. Messing up is just a part of life, getting back up is what really counts. I think finding some positive things about yourself and writing them down is a great way to start! Say some positive things about yourself in front of your kids. Give yourself the pep talk that you would give me if I asked you for advice. I'd just like to challenge you in this area. Take a look inside.. see how strong you really are. See that you're something beautiful. Getting to a certain weight won't change your thinking on this.. this has to be something that changes before you hit your weight. You have to come to a place that you are satisfied with you are as a person. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.. it's who you are on the inside. Just give it a try. And if you can't find ANYTHING positive in yourself.. just ask me. I bet I can find something special in you!!!
Never quit!!!
Mel :)
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