A different kind of goal...

Do you ever think about the memory you'd like to leave behind after you're gone? What do you want people to say about you once you pass away? This might not be a subject you'd like to think about right now but it is something that I've been thinking about especially today. This morning I sat in a church with my dear friend and her family and friends as we said goodbye to her dad. He passed away suddently and unexpectedly. I know it's not easy whether you expect it or not. Losing someone is hard and sad and you don't even know how your heart will ever heal. You just never know when your life will end and at that point the words that will be said about you are no longer up to you. I want to share with you some words that were spoken today about Charley. They touched me and will stay with me throughout my lifetime. The priest was talking about the video of pictures he watched that was put together that represented Charley's life. The priest mentioned something that just hit me. He said as he was watching the video he noticed that in just about every picture of Charley, Ginny (his wife of 46 years) was standing next to him. Because where ever Charley was, Ginny was. He also mentioned that in just about every picture of the family (Ginny and their two daughters) Charley was present in the picture. Because he was always there. I thought how amazing, here is this man that worked and had a social life and he volunteered for different organizations and he loved people.. but the one thing that seems to stand above the rest is his love for his family. He was present. I don't know but it seems to me Charley had a goal in life to love his family. To be present and not just exist amongst them. He seemed to take his time and live in the moment with them. To not rush through life. Sometimes life can seem like it's just a bunch of events one after another. We get through one event already focused on what's next. We hold our breathe just waiting to get done with the thing we're dealing with now. If you're anything like me, you've been guilty of letting too much time slip by just because "you're too busy." You find that you are present physically but your mind is somewhere else. Really, the most important time in your life is right now. I love that Charley and Ginny were in the pictures together. I love that Lauren and Natalie had their dad in the pictures with them. I love that he was present! Charley's life reminded me of this today .. I want to be here, right now and no where else because there is no other place or time more important. This is my lesson from Charley. :)

Breaking through the wall of "EXCUSE"

Man.. have I been enjoying the lazy days of summer! My wedding photography job keeps my weekends pretty busy, but the weekdays are dedicated to my three little munchkins. Well, my kids and also another little job I do for WW and photo shoots I do on the side, oh and also keeping my house cleaned, running errands, paying bills and making sure I put time into my marriage, I can't forget about my friends and this and that.... ahhhh.. LIFE! I am going to just say it right now, I have allowed so many excuses to creep in which has put a bit of a damper on preparing like I should. It's put a damper on my running and working out schedule. I have allowed excuses to be a reason and that is just so lame. In all reality, we are busy people. When my kids were in school, I could run more often and didn't really have to "make time" it was just made for me. I could plan meals and grocery shop at my convenience. Please say I'm not the only one that allows excuses to make decisions for me!! Well, last week I get a text from a friend of mine telling me that there's a VBS at a little church near my house and it's during the day. My kids love going to VBS and since I'm familiar with this church I figured I would send them. I also figured it would be a great week for me to get some time for myself and I could run! So I woke up this morning to the rain and I thought.. man.. if it wasn't raining I could run. Stupid rain. I caught myself.. what am I doing?! I am making another excuse. Here I have some kidless time and I'm yet again making another excuse. Rain never stopped me before. So I put all my running gear on and just ran. It felt so great! I will tell you this, the thing that felt the greatest was the fact that I just did it. I didn't allow an excuse to keep me from running today. It's so easy to fall into that pattern. I have learned to be a goal setter and accomplish them. But even with all that I've learned, I can still fall into a pattern of excuses. What about the times we fall off the wagon and binge for a while on ice cream or potato chips, some of us in those cases will tell ourselves, "Oh well.. I've already messed up, might as well finish off the week and start all over on Monday." We can make up excuses for any behavior we have. How many times have you started something and quit.. just because? At the time it sounded like a good reason why you couldn't follow through. I think most of the time it comes down to the fact that we just lose the excitement to do it. We lose the motivation to see it all the way through. We talk ourselves out of doing something before we even give it a chance. I don't know why we do this. I know I just feel tired sometimes. Feeling tired is ok, it's just when I allow it to become a habitual excuse. How do I keep going? Well sometimes it's easy to keep going, I feel motivated and encouraged and it feels like it's second nature. But sometimes it's hard. In those hard times I try and remind myself what I want. I remind myself how far I've come and that I never want to go back to my old habits. Are you having a problem with breaking through the pattern of excuses? Ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Sometimes I just have to force myself to do something even if I don't feel like it. We don't alway feel like skipping on the cake or going for a walk. Sometimes it's just easier to give in to the excuses. Time will pass and you have to ask yourself what do I want out of life. What do I want to accomplish with my time. No more letting excuses be a reason for you not reaching your goals. In a year from today you'll either be at your goal and setting a new one, closer to your goal or still making excuses as to why you'll start tomorrow. Don't wait. Start now. You might not want too... but that doesn't mean you can't.
Always cheering you on!!! Mel :)

The anniversary dance..

My brain works in a strange way... I can take just about any story or situation and learn from it. I almost always look deeper into things to see what I can take from it and carry with me throughout my life. Living my life absorbing everything around me, the people and sights and sounds and smells,  has just been the way I've always been. So sometimes I might find something in a story that someone else might not. That's where this blog came from...

My wedding photographer job is so fun! I get to meet a lot of different people and see a lot of different things. I've stood around the dance floor capturing more moments of people dancing than I can even count. I've watched many brides and grooms dance their first dance and watched many dad's dance with their daughter on her wedding day, it's all very beautiful. This past weekend the DJ did the Anniversary Dance. I'm sure many of you have seen this. They call out all the married couples to the dance floor and as the song plays, the DJ starts calling out the amount of years being married and as the song plays, couples leave the dance floor, to only leave the couple married the longest dancing on the dance floor alone. I've seen this at many weddings but this one hit me a little different. As the DJ was counting up the years, the couple just kept dancing, little by little the dance floor became almost empty until it was just them. The couple has been married for 63 years. I cried. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've seen at a wedding. How sweet and beautiful as they held onto each other and moved together across the dance floor. I started thinking about their journey and the things they might've faced throughout those 63 years. How many times they've failed each other, disapointed each other. How many financial challenges they might've been through. Have they had to face losing a child? I don't know their story, but I am sure they have one to tell. I started to think about the challenges we face. In my opinion, most of our challenges are little compared to being committed to a marriage for 63 years. But yet, how easily we give up. A little challenge comes our way and we so easily just throw in the towel. We've lost the ability to fight through things. Or better yet, we just don't care as much as we think we do. I find that most people I talk to say that they CAN'T do something but in reality they can. They just don't feel like it. They don't feel like sticking with something through those times it's not as easy. Where is your fight? When you want something bad enough.. what stops you from getting to it? Why do you quit on yourself yet you'd never quit on someone you love?  We look at people, that in our opinion are successful, for me like this couple that danced alone that night on the dance floor. And we don't always see the challenges they might have faced we only see the success they have. The truth is, we all face challenges that could give us a perfectly good reason to quit. But quiting should not be an option. Johnathan asked us the other day what divorce meant. We told him it's when one or both grown ups quit in their marriage. He said, "Oh! Well that won't happen to us because Latiak's never quit!" I want to encourage you.. don't quit! Don't quit at the things you have set your mind on. Once you decide that quiting is not an option for you.. you'll keep going until you reach your finish line.

1, 2, 3... JUMP!

Have you ever tried jumping on a park bench with both feet at the same time? Last fall, Robbie and I and the kids were playing at a park near our house. That summer I had done several weeks of a boot camp and felt pretty tough. So here I am, Rob has his little video recorder set on his phone and I am going to prove to him that I can jump up on this bench, I can do this! The whole video is of me attempting but being a chicken and not going through with it. Well, yesterday the kids and I went back to the same park and I passed my phone to Jack and pressed record, I counted 1,2 and 3 and jumped right up on that same bench I chickened out on last fall. I didn't even have to think twice. Of course, I jumped it several times because I felt so hard core and I sent the video to Rob just to brag ;) . To some this might not be much of anything.. but to me, it was just a nice reminder of how far I've come. I don't believe that it has much to do with my physical strength but more to do with my mental strength. Isn't that how life is though? The more we press through the stronger we get. When we can't do it at first, it doesn't mean we've failed. It's when we quit, that's when we've failed. Life is all about over coming challenges that come our way. Whether is has to do with our jobs or our relationships.. whether it's challenges that you face while you're trying to lose weight or finish school. Unfortunately there really is no easy way  to reach your goals or accomplish your dreams. It takes hard work, commitment and perserverance. Those quick easy fixes that some might find, will only last a short time. It's what we learn in the process of getting us to our goal, that sticks. That's what helps us maintain our goals and helps us over come the next challenge that we'll face. I am a big believer in what we set our mind too, we'll get. Start small.. what's something you can challenge yourself to do from now until the end of the month? Write it down, keep a calendar of the days you're working on it. See your accomplishments as you reach them. My friend and boot camp instructor, Debbie, tells me this, "It doesn't get easier, it's that you get better and stronger!" That's so true.. you get better. When you refuse to quit and you keep going.. the better and stronger you get. That park bench didn't get lower I just got better. 1, 2, 3... JUMP! NOW!

Free as a bird...

Free as a bird! That's how this picture makes me feel. There's no greater feeling than the feeling of being free. That's how you feel when you plow down the mountains in your life. I'm sure some people think my greatest reward is the fact that my pant size is smaller or the scale reads less.. my greatest reward is the crazy strength I feel on the inside. Have you ever accomplished something in your life that you always wanted and worked so hard to get it? Then you know that feeling I'm talking about. I have always tried to live life to the fullest. I take in the sights, smells and sounds. But when you delete the obstacles from your life, things seem to get even brighter. You gain this confidence and strength that causes you to believe that you can do anything you set your mind too. Isn't that what we need? To not feel hindered by things. Sometimes we allow things to become a part of our lives and take root within us. I believe it's different for each person, but the reason why is probably the same. I think we just sorta accept things as they are, mediocre relationships, bad habits, lives that have no passion.. why do we allow this? I did this. I remember believing that the weight, well "it's just who I am" and it really wasn't about me being over weight. It was about me accepting something I had the power to change but didn't have the drive to do it. Ugh! I was so tired of it. I was so tired of allowing myself to "just be this way" I am not saying every over weight person feels the way I did.. but I also know I am not the only one. Why do we allow time to just drift by and not make the changes we need to live life to the fullest. Why do we allow our dreams to be pushed to the side? Why do we set goals and just allow ourselves to give up on them? It's hard work and perserverance. It takes changing mindsets. It takes being a tiny bit selfish and giving more to yourself. What do you really want out of life? You see, I want to live. I want to help people change their lives. I want my children to know that they don't have just accept a mediocre life.. that they don't have to allow things to take root in their lives that don't belong there. It doesn't even have to be a physical thing.. it can be doubt or fear. It can be insecurity or negativity. So at what point do you uproot the things that don't belong in your life? If you're going to wait for the perfect time... you'll never start. My hope is that you will just start now. And that you won't stop until you reach your dreams. Never quit :) You're well worth the fight!

Fear takes up way too much space!

Is it just me or does anyone else out there struggle with fear? I know for some, it can be so intense, while others it might just be fear over certain things. I remember when I first started Weight Watchers I didn't want to tell anyone that I had joined. I was certain I would fail and the fear of letting others down was too much for me. I kept it to myself as long as I could and after I saw the changes and the consistency, I had to start telling people. I've always struggled with the fear of letting others down. It's gotten a little easier but I know it's still there. Fear can be so crippling sometimes. It really can keep us from moving forward. It can keep us from being successful and it can keep us stuck in the same place. I really believe it just "keeps" us. There is no freedom in that. Since I've been maintaining, I have definitely struggled with fear of gaining back my weight. So much to the point that I can get afraid to step on the scale because "what if?!!" It's so annoying. I recently talked to a co worker of mine and she said, "There is no room for fear." I think if I had given in to the fear of failure, I wouldn't had joined Weight Watchers. I wouldn't have set certain goals. I really wouldn't have come nearly as far as I have. At some point you have to throw off the fears and just go for it. What are you afraid of? Are you like me and afraid to fail? Are you afraid that you don't have it in you to actually accomplish something? Are you afraid to let others down? You see, fear is just a space invader. It takes over our minds and when we give in to it, we end up losing. The fact is fear has as much strength and space in your life as you give it. I am really tired of allowing fear to have even an inch of my mind. I feel like this blog is definitely me giving myself a pep talk, but I am hoping that if anyone else deals with this, that it helps you too! I'd love to see you free fall into the areas of your life that you've allowed fear to sorta take over. Don't allow it to keep you from things you have your heart set on. Don't allow it to keep you from your goals. Don't allow it to keep you from starting a new journey in your life. If you think about it.. it's JUST fear.

Lucky girl...

How awesome would it be if all it took was finding a four leaf clover and then you'd have luck on your side?! My mother in law can walk into the middle of a field of flowers and weeds and I swear, she can look down at the ground and find a four leaf clover.. over and over. It does seem a little magical to me. March has me thinking about St. Patricks Day and feeling lucky and clovers and how there is magic in all of that. I'm not sure if you've ever thought like me, but if I could've had one wish, I always said I would wish to be thin. I hated hated HATED struggling with being over weight. It was a life long battle of wanting to lose weight, wanting to be healthy, wanting to feel like I could do anything I wanted too... I always wished for those thing. There have been times I've heard people say, "Wow!! You're so lucky this worked out for you!!!" or "Hey!!! Tell me the secret!! What's the magic secret when it comes to losing weight?" Unfortunately it's not as easy as finding a four leaf clover in the middle of a field or finding a genie in a bottle to grant you that one wish.. there is not a secret or no luck to it at all, it's simply hard work! It takes perseverance;

steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. That means not quitting when it gets tough. Not giving up when your emotions just aren't in it anymore. It's a mind battle more than anything. It takes determination;

the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose. Taking that step and finally deciding THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING! I have discovered that if you want something bad enough, you'll make the decision with your mind and heart and you'll just go after it.. and not stop until you get it! Focus; a point of concentration, directed attention. Keeping in mind your goals. Remembering why you started this journey in the first place. I have found that setting goals and not quitting until I hit that goal has become a habit of mine. I keep my eyes focused on something, whether it's a finish line or a challenge I set for myself and I refuse to quit until I hit that mark. A few other things that I find are invaluable to this journey.. being able to forgive yourself easily. We tend to be harder on ourselves and get down on ourselves when we mess up. I understand that, I still deal with this in other areas of my life. But when it comes to losing weight, you cannot allow yesterdays mess ups keep you down today! You have to forgive yourself and move on. Plan!! Plan ahead as best as you can. If you can plan and prepare, you will be setting yourself up for a win! Keep good food in your refrigerator and pantry and keep the bad foods out. Write down what you eat!! Sometimes we think if we don't write it down than maybe that means I didn't eat it. Wrong. We just lie to ourselves. Find an activity or workout that you enjoy and do it! If you can do it everyday, do it everyday. Stay consistent with it!! Don't eliminate foods from your diet. I have always allowed myself to eat whatever I want. I've just learned to portion it out and to weigh or measure it. I do eliminate certain foods from coming into my home, but that's because I know I'll eat all of it!! Know your own limits. Be real with yourself. I have wonderful people that have been with me throughout this journey, but it solely comes down to it is my responsibility. I can have all the help around me, but only I know if I'm sneaking into the kitchen looking for a snack in the middle of the night! So be real and honest with yourself! I have found that if we want something bad enough, we will do whatever it takes to get it! Know this.. YOU are worth it!! You can do this!!! How bad do you really want it?!!! Bad enough to keep going until you reach your goals? :)