Lucky girl...

How awesome would it be if all it took was finding a four leaf clover and then you'd have luck on your side?! My mother in law can walk into the middle of a field of flowers and weeds and I swear, she can look down at the ground and find a four leaf clover.. over and over. It does seem a little magical to me. March has me thinking about St. Patricks Day and feeling lucky and clovers and how there is magic in all of that. I'm not sure if you've ever thought like me, but if I could've had one wish, I always said I would wish to be thin. I hated hated HATED struggling with being over weight. It was a life long battle of wanting to lose weight, wanting to be healthy, wanting to feel like I could do anything I wanted too... I always wished for those thing. There have been times I've heard people say, "Wow!! You're so lucky this worked out for you!!!" or "Hey!!! Tell me the secret!! What's the magic secret when it comes to losing weight?" Unfortunately it's not as easy as finding a four leaf clover in the middle of a field or finding a genie in a bottle to grant you that one wish.. there is not a secret or no luck to it at all, it's simply hard work! It takes perseverance;

steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. That means not quitting when it gets tough. Not giving up when your emotions just aren't in it anymore. It's a mind battle more than anything. It takes determination;

the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose. Taking that step and finally deciding THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING! I have discovered that if you want something bad enough, you'll make the decision with your mind and heart and you'll just go after it.. and not stop until you get it! Focus; a point of concentration, directed attention. Keeping in mind your goals. Remembering why you started this journey in the first place. I have found that setting goals and not quitting until I hit that goal has become a habit of mine. I keep my eyes focused on something, whether it's a finish line or a challenge I set for myself and I refuse to quit until I hit that mark. A few other things that I find are invaluable to this journey.. being able to forgive yourself easily. We tend to be harder on ourselves and get down on ourselves when we mess up. I understand that, I still deal with this in other areas of my life. But when it comes to losing weight, you cannot allow yesterdays mess ups keep you down today! You have to forgive yourself and move on. Plan!! Plan ahead as best as you can. If you can plan and prepare, you will be setting yourself up for a win! Keep good food in your refrigerator and pantry and keep the bad foods out. Write down what you eat!! Sometimes we think if we don't write it down than maybe that means I didn't eat it. Wrong. We just lie to ourselves. Find an activity or workout that you enjoy and do it! If you can do it everyday, do it everyday. Stay consistent with it!! Don't eliminate foods from your diet. I have always allowed myself to eat whatever I want. I've just learned to portion it out and to weigh or measure it. I do eliminate certain foods from coming into my home, but that's because I know I'll eat all of it!! Know your own limits. Be real with yourself. I have wonderful people that have been with me throughout this journey, but it solely comes down to it is my responsibility. I can have all the help around me, but only I know if I'm sneaking into the kitchen looking for a snack in the middle of the night! So be real and honest with yourself! I have found that if we want something bad enough, we will do whatever it takes to get it! Know this.. YOU are worth it!! You can do this!!! How bad do you really want it?!!! Bad enough to keep going until you reach your goals? :)

It's an emotional affair....

Do you ever feel this way? That you are having an emotional affair with food? You turn to it when you're down or when things aren't going your way? When the lights go out for everyone else, you find yourself in the kitchen looking for something to make you feel better? It happens to the best of us. I think for me, it's a habit I have carried with me from my childhood through my adulthood years. I believe this is a habit learned but can also be a habit broken. I have definitely broken this habit in my life, but truth be told, it creeps back in every once in a while. I relate it to someone that might turn to alcohol or bad relationships, it's something you do to make you feel better in the moment. And after you do it, you feel terrible. I have found that this can set me off and take me on a downward spiral of poor eating, not exercising.. it just triggers something inside you to eat more. There is definitely a fix to this problem. I can't tell you how to never feel sad or down, I wish I could, but I can tell you that there is a way to set youself up to not turn to food... well at least not all the time. I know life can be ridiculous and overwhelming and just plain old stupid sometimes, so for me to say emotionally eating will NEVER happen.. is hard for me to even promise myself. I have no idea what life might throw at me next year, next month or even tomorrow. But I can do my best to set myself up for a win. First thing, make sure you have some good people that you can count on. I know for me, I have some wonderful people I can go to when I need to talk. I have people I can say, "Hey.. I need to cry, got a minute?" Or if I need to tell someone that I've been sneaking food at night and I need help stopping this, I have people that will help me. They come in the form as friends, family and accountability partners. Food can never be there for you like a person can. Another thing, keep the junk out of your house. If you keep it out of your house it will never be an option. Believe me, I know, you have small kids and it's not fair to them to not have candy, chips... blah blah blah... do we really want our kids eating this junk too? I'm not saying NEVER eat this, but make it a treat. Only buy them in small portions or go out for ice cream or dessert. I know it slowly happens around here, before I know it, my pantry will be filled with junk. You should take the time to spring clean your pantry and refrigerator often. If we clean up our spaces, whether it be at home or work, then this journey is going to be a lot easier because we've eliminated the bad options. So say late one night you find that Halloween candy that you tucked away and forgot about over the months and before you know it you've eaten the entire bag, what do you do next? Some of us would probably feel terrible and figure since we've already messed up, we might as well finish off what we started... until Monday. Do not do this. I have learned that we have the ability to stop and pick ourselves up right then and there. Move on! I cannot tell you how many cookies, cakes, bags of chips, gallons of ice cream.. whatever.. I've thrown in the trash. This blog is not about eating those treats on purpose, this one is about eating those in a moment when you're turning to food for support. I eat junk and have treats, on purpose and there's nothing wrong with that. The issue of eating for support, that's dangerous. I know this is something we can control. We sometimes allow the belief of "We can't control ourselves" to come in, but that's not true. We can. You can! Do not allow food to be in control or allow your mind to believe that you're not strong enough. You are. You just have to believe it!

I'm in control of this...

During one of my Weight Watcher classes, I met this young girl that is a new member. Her first week she joined, she came back and had a weight gain. How frustrating is that?! Her second week, she lost one pound. Equally frustating! This young girl stood at my scale and cried. She had faced a lot over the week (loss of job and other stresses) so no wonder she was having "scale crisis" I searched my mind and heart to try and give her the best answer, to find some way to help her through this slump that she was in. In all honesty, all I wanted to do was hug her and give her my phone number and tell her to call me anytime!! I gave her the best advice I thought of. I remembered what my life looked like right before I joined Weight Watchers. The two years leading up to me joining WW were very hard years for me. So much in my life had changed. It was probably some of the hardest two years I had gone through. And on top of that, my health was declining. I was dealing with high blood pressure and borderline diabetic. I was tired all the time and had allowed my insecurities to keep me from doing things. I realized that many of the things in my life I had no control over. I couldn't control my relationships, my job or my responsibilites that I had. I could work at those things.. but never could I control them. When I joined WW, I realized this is something I had control over. I learned that I had control over the food, over my lifestyle, over the sitting on the couch doing nothing, over the late night snacking. I had control over the emotional eating binges. We seem to think we don't. We seem to think those things control us. But in all reality, it doesn't. We allow it too.. we sorta give in to those things. So here's what I told this young lady; your life might not look like you want it too. You don't have control over your job and the other things that might come your way. But you can have total control over getting healthy. And once you realize this, you will feel so strong on the inside! You will feel like you can accomplish anything! Your insecurites won't be able to hold you back because you'll be bigger than them. I wanted to share this with you. I want you to remember that, if you put your mind to this, you can conquer it. I know, many of my blogs are about not quitting and conquering.. and it might get old. But that is something I hold on to. If you never quit, you'll never go backwards. You have total control over your eating! Stop allowing excuses to cause you to quit or to not even start! Stop making excuses as to why you can't get up and move around. The time is right when you finally just take control. I hope my new friend realizes she can do it too!!

Keeping the bigger picture in mind

Hello!! I hope you had a wonderful holiday!! I feel like I've been going crazy since Thanksgiving. Time keeps going even when I ask it to wait up for me, it never listens! I am always curious as to what people got for Christmas, what their favorite gifts were, what their favorite gifts they gave were.. and so on. I absolutely loved all of my gifts! How can you not when someone takes their time and thoughts and money and uses it on you! It's hard to pick a favorite but I do have one that stood out to me above the rest. My sister in law, Lisa, wins the prize this year! This is what she gave me (see picture). It's a very large key ring. I was just as confused as you might be but believe me, there is a very cool purpose to this gift. She knows I am a runner and I have goals to run different charity runs and work my way up to 1/2 marathons and marathons. She brought out her matching key ring and showed me the purpose of this. It's to hang my bibs on it that I get from each run I do. A bib is the number that the runner wears on their shirt. So for each run I do I can poke a hole in the bib and attach it to the key ring. Her's has several. Mine doesn't, for now though! I thought, how future minded and goal minded is this gift!!! It reminds me of the goals we have set for ourselves. I know I talk a lot.. A LOT, about goals. I only do because that is one of the key things that got me to my total weight loss goal. I like to say I small goaled my way here! I think sometimes we lose focus and lose sight of the "main goal" we have the tendancy to give in to what we want right now, this minute, this second.. and we'll say, "Oh, I'll get back to it tomorrow, It's only this one time (when in reality we've said that since Thanksgiving)." You see, if we continue to give in and not make the changes we need to and not get rid of the bad habits or the bad foods or whatever else.. eventually we lose sight of the main goal. There is so much satisfaction in reaching goals. I'm talking beyond a smaller pant size or compliments from your family and friends, because believe me as someone that's now in maintenance, those things will pass. What doesn't pass is the ability that you have learned to set goals and reach them, the ability to press through a challenge that before you would just cave in and the strength you have on the INSIDE. So here's what I would like you to try. Get something physical to keep in your house somewhere. If it's a pant size, buy a pair of jeans in that size. If it's to do something like what mine is, and run races and marathons, buy yourself a key ring! If it's to fit into your wedding ring, be able to lift a certain amount of weight.. whatever it may be, get something for you to be able to see and have so you can look at it as a reminder. I am all for setting those small goals, those are equally important! But don't lose focus of those main goals either! I have high expectations for this next year. And lets be honest, there is no magic in a new year, it's all about how much work you're willing to put in. How hard are you willing to fight? I am not saying this because it has come easy for me, this has been the biggest challenge of my life. I am saying it is absolutely and totally possible!!!

How obtainable is your goal? Go bigger!!!

This morning I was putting clothes away and came across my old size 24 jeans. I hadn't tried them on in a while so I figured why not! Please excuse my messy look in the picture with my face showing.
When I first started Weight Watchers and the idea to get healthy, I remember thinking, "Man, if I could just be a size 14! I didn't even think that was possible but I hoped I could get to that size. The thought of wearing a smaller size was not in my mind at all. And just so you know, I never had a pants size goal in mind. I just wanted to lose weight and be healthy. Whatever that looked like in the end, I was going to be happy with. These jeans got me thinking, though. I am so glad I didn't set a size 14 as my goal. Just like I'm glad I didn't set a one mile run or to be able to lift a certain amount of weight as my end goal. I think sometimes we set goals that our within our reach because we fear the goals that are bigger than what we can do within the ability we have RIGHT NOW. I would've cheated myself out if I had set my goals within my ability at the time. We're going to be hitting the new year very soon, and for many of us it's goal setting time. We want to start the year off with some goals in mind we'd like to reach within that year. I want to challenge you, dream bigger than you've ever dreamed. Reach for goals that seem impossible. Believe that you can do it. The only limitations are ourselves. And it's not even what we can physically do but it's what our minds tell us. It's what our past failures tells us. It's what those around us that don't want to see us succeed, tell us. So I want to challenge you to start setting some "IMPOSSIBLE" goals for 2013. You will want to quit, you will over eat, you will skip workouts, you will get down on yourself and you might even want to punch someone just for no reason at all ;) And all that's ok, what's not ok is quitting. The more you quit the easier it gets to quit and the harder it is to start up again. So take it from this hot mess of a girl.. YOU CAN DO MORE THAN YOU EVEN IMAGINED! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE! IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH IT!!! I'm always cheering you on!!! BRING IT ON 2013!!! Let's make this year count so we don't have to start another year with the same old goals!!!  (Picture on the left are my old size 24 jeans under my current size 4 jeans)    >>>>That's just me over there, trying on my old jeans :)

Running uphill... what a pain!

You don't have to be a runner to know that running at an incline can be a pain in the... butt.. legs... tummy... a pain all over! I was out for a run last week, my usual running path, and I hit the part of my run where I have to run at an incline. I noticed I slowed down, my breathing got heavier, I had to push myself harder to get to the top. But when I got to the top and started making my way back down (now this is a slight incline, I know I'm making it sound like a huge mountain.. but that's what it feels like it) I had to give little effort. I just let my legs sorta go with the flow and I didn't have to push myself at all. I started thinking about my journey. And how the lessons I've learned have been during the inclines. Those times that I've had to really push myself to stick with it. The times that it wasn't easy to make the healthier food choices. The times I didn't want to get out of bed and work out. The times when things were going on in my life that could have caused me to emotionally eat. Those are the times that I had to push through. Those are the times that the life changing lessons are learned. I find that easy times are like a gift. We can just flow with it. We don't have to put too much effort in. It's in those times that you feel as if every single ounce of energy you have is being used to just barely hold on.. those are the times you are learning those lessons that will carry you through your life. I have learned endurance and perseverance. I have learned that my mind is stronger than my body. I have learned that reaching a goal, especially one that I never thought was possible, really is obtainable. You learn how to dig deep and conquer the quitter attitude. You see, we all get tired, we all want to quit. It is HARD and DIFFICULT and seems IMPOSSIBLE for everyone! I think when we're in the middle of something and facing something that makes us feel challenged, we tend to think we are the only ones that feel this way. We tend to think that's an excuse to give up. And really that's just another opportunity for us to grow. That is life giving us a moment to grow. The digger we deep, the stronger we become and the farther we can go. Most of the time we don't know how we've grown or the lesson we've learned until we're through it. So I want to challenge you, during those "inclines" push through. Try and enjoy them ;) (ok.. I know that might be asking a little too much) but know that when you get to the top, you have pushed through something that was difficult and might even seemed impossible, but you pushed through it! It gets easier, I promise. But you have to be willing to keep going even when you want to quit! Never quit :)

Well hello there, motivation.. it's so nice to see you again!!

Can I start off by saying.. OH MY GOSH! I am telling you, I have been having the hardest time. I know I touched on this a bit in my last post.. but I have to share! I cannot remember the last time my little motivation button was out of order. I can usually dig deep and find something to push me. Whether it's how far I've come, my short term goals, an old picture of myself..gosh, even forcing someone to tell me it's going to be ok ;) ... anything. But these past few weeks have been HARD and CHALLENGING in the area of motivation. Honestly, I wanted to cry several times because I just didn't know what to do. When I was losing weight, I asked someone why do they think people gain their weight back.. they told me because you get to a point where you're tired and you sorta just don't care anymore. I was determined I would not be like that. I figured I'd always have this fight in me to keep going, and apparently.. if I'm still fighting, I do :) So what did I do? I just kept going. And I whined a lot.. but that's besides the point. I had to tell myself it doesn't matter how you feel right now, I could not let my feelings dictate the choices I was making. Now, let me be totally honest here, I did have some moments of emotional eating, I did skimp on my workouts at times.. but I also noticed that the "bad" choices I was making were so much better than what I had made in the past. I've come so far. It also shows me that I'm not immune to going back to some of my bad habits. I decided I'd just ride it out and pray and continue to follow the rules and try not to follow my emotions. I woke up the other morning and I could tell it was back. I woke up, wrote down some new goals, signed up for a bootcamp class and started journaling my food again. I can't beat myself up for how I feel.. or even the choices that I made, but I can try my hardest to stick to what I know are the better choices and I can choose to not quit or give up. I believe it is what happens in life, we have the tendancy to just give up when things don't come easy for us. When we have to push ourselves through those times where it feels more like we are dragging ourselves. We still need to tie up our shoes and walk that treadmill or run on the pavement. We need to make these choices because we owe it to ourselves to finish this part or that part of the process. Losing weight, maintaining weight.. whatever it may be. And when you get tired and you can't find one awesome quote that pushes you to feel that motivation again.. just keep going. Just keep doing what you know is the right thing to do. And eventually, you'll feel it again. It'll just hit you. It's like life, we don't always feel like it, but we do it anyways :)